Leah's Burden
by Casualwitch
Summary: An old character returns but it turns out that he had a daughter that he never told anyone about. He loves his daughter but they have a difficult relationship as there are some scars that never heal. (Sorry my summary is rubbish). Main characters: Leah and Luke Warren (adult themes might develop later on in the story but it is quite mild to begin with).
1. Introduction

I have been looking forward to today for quite a while now, my dad is due back from Sierra Leone today, I am going to the airport to pick him up after I finish work. Me and my dad moved there a few years ago as he wanted to help out a bunch of kids, but I came back a short while ago to work at Holby City, my dad had a few things to deal with first so he is a few months later than me.

Since being back here I have not once regretted coming back, there have been a couple of issues but not as bad as anything I have experienced in the past. I have settled in well and have made a few friends, a couple of paramedics even saw that I had been having a difficult time finding somewhere to live so they asked me if I wanted to stay with them, I was reluctant at first but Jeff and Dixie have been so friendly that I ended up accepting their offer.

The only thing that I am worried about for today is that my dad will be angry, he thinks that I am working here as a nurse when I am actually a paramedic. I have wanted to be a paramedic for as long as I can remember, but my dad didn't like it, he used to be one himself so he knows that it can be a dangerous job. I know that he is only looking out for me and I still love him as much as I always have done. I am sure that he will be angry, but I never actually lied to him, I just never told him the whole story, he just assumed that I had trained to become a nurse and I didn't say other wise.

Dixie and I are working together today so we are driving there together, I just sit in the car while she drives while we talk as normal, although most of the time she just rants about how lazy Jeff is. We then get to the subject of me going out this afternoon, I haven't told Jeff and Dixie about dad coming home today, I have already asked if they would mind if I brought someone to the house just for a couple of days until they could find a place to stay, I wanted to surprise them as they have been eager to meet him. I tell Dixie that I am picking someone up at the airport and she accepts it, in all honesty she looks really pleased to be getting someone else to stay for a couple of days.

I sit there in a daydream then next thing I know Dixie is waving in my face,

"Is anybody home?" she chuckles.

This is when I notice that we have arrived at the ambulance bay and I laugh, I am easily distracted unless I am working, when I'm working I'm always careful as I know how dangerous a moment of carelessness can be in a job like this. So I get out of the car and we head on in together.

Once in the bay we get changed into our uniforms, most people hate it but I love my uniform, I am proud to wear it. One thing that I don't understand is, most people know that Dixie is a lesbian and don't mind it, but they tend to avoid her when getting changed. I personally don't see what the big issue is as clothes are worn under the uniform so it's not like they actually have to strip off, if that was the case I would probably keep away from everyone else as I can be quite paranoid about what other people are thinking about me.

We then waited until we got our first shout, got into the ambulance and sped off.


	2. Chapter 2

**Seeing as the first chapter was only an introduction I decided that I would give you two chapters on the same day. This is my first fanfiction so I would be really grateful for any reviews, just please don't be nasty. **

Our first shout of the day was to a crash on the motorway involving several cars, for me I find this to be one of the worst kind of accidents to go to as there are so many scared people. Once we arrived at the scene we discovered that it was much worse than we had anticipated, we were immediately out of the ambulance and looking for the people who needed help most urgently. I ended up looking after a middle aged man who seemed more angry than hurt even though the way he was trapped you would expect him to be in agony.

"Hurry up, some people are hurt and you're just dawdling around, as if you have all the time in the world!" he shouted, startling me but not distressing me, I have dealt with angry patients before.

"It's okay sir, my name is Leah, could you tell me yours please? And tell me where there is any pain"

"What's all the faffing about for? My name is Mr Davies and I am in absolute agony here! Could you just hurry up and get me out of here?" I get quite nervous in these situations but I still get on with my work.

About five minutes passed and he never really said anything again until I told him that we were going to move him.

"Stay perfectly still for me Mr Davies", I told him, "We're going to get you out of there, it might hurt," I warned him.

"Whatever, just get me out", was all he replied.

The problem arose when we started to get him out, he yelled out in pain, I tried to calm him down, but he started shouting about how we were trying to kill him. The next thing I knew he swung his uninjured arm at me and knocked me down, whacking my face off the ground in the process. Somehow, while this was going on, the fireman who was working with me managed to get him the rest of the way out and two nearby paramedics took him away. I was slightly dazed, my nose was throbbing, this kind of thing hadn't happened to me before. I then became aware that someone was trying to get my attention.

"What the hell happened to you?" Dixie exclaimed.

I tried to tell her but it turned out that my nose was bleeding quite heavily, so she couldn't make out what I was saying. We got into to ambulance and headed back to the hospital, Dixie insisted that I get checked out before continuing working, luckily when we got there Sam was able to take a quick look at it and after deciding there was nothing wrong with it Linda cleaned me up and put a couple of stitches in my forehead.

After that I went back to work and other than the paperwork I was required to fill out, the day proceeded like any other day. Dixie seemed really concerned about me and spent most of the time asking me how I was, I kept telling her I was fine and I honestly did feel okay, I had been a bit upset to begin with but I got over it, I knew that there was a possibility of something like this happening. She also mentioned that there will be a new paramedic starting tomorrow, some ex footballer apparently, and that me, her and Jeff would be working together tomorrow, as there would be an odd number and Jamie, a student nurse who is one of my closest friends would be joining us.

At the end of the day I got a taxi to the airport, Unfortunately the plane was running an hour late, I wasn't too bothered though, I was just looking forward to seeing my dad again.

Eventually the sign said that the plane that my dad would be getting was arriving, as I waited for him I saw a lot of people from that flight, so I waited, I waited until everyone was off the plane. My dad wasn't there. I waited longer just to be certain, but he never appeared, I double checked the information that he had given me, surely he wouldn't change it without letting me know. I started to panic, I took out my mobile and typed in his number, he always answered. After it had rang a couple of times a strange voice answered it, immediately making me even more worried, when I asked if they knew anything about my dad but they laughed and hung up. I was frantic with worry and burst into tears in the middle of the airport.

After I had got myself cleaned up I got a taxi back to Jeff and Dixie's place, it was quite late and they were already asleep. I was glad of this as I didn't know if I would be able to face them without breaking down again. I went to bed dreading tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

That night I hardly managed to get any sleep, I spent the whole night worrying about my dad. My dad would always let me know if plans were being changed and he keeps his phone with him at all times, I had never been more worried in my life.

The next morning when I went down for breakfast Dixie was already there, I tried to act as normal, but that's kind of difficult when you're being interrogated.

"You alright sweetheart?" Dixie asked.

"What?.. Yeah, I'm fine," I replied.

"So what time did you eventually get back at?" She laughed.

"Can't remember" I said.

At this point Jeff strolled into the kitchen,

"Mornin' Dix, mornin' Lee. I'm completely shattered, hand over the grub." He always calls me Lee, I hated it at first, though I kind of like it now.

He sat and devoured his toast, then he turned to me, "so where's this person you said you were bringing home?"

"They were unable to make it, something came up yesterday," I mumbled.

"You ain't been ditched by some fella have you? Cos you seem a bit upset, which I don't like to see and in all honesty, I would feel uncomfortable with some guy of yours stayin' here anyway." He quizzed.

"No, no it's nothing like that, I don't have a boyfriend, you don't need to worry about anything like that, something has cropped up, that's all," I hated it when he spoke about this kind of thing, especially as I've never really been with a guy before.

The awkward conversation came to an end and we made our way to work.

We arrived at the hospital and Jeff sent me in to fetch Jamie while they prepared the ambulance. After about ten minutes of looking I eventually found him talking to Robyn by a cubicle.

"Alright Jamie, time to go," I said.

"Okay." he said following me.

On the way out he asked me if my dad was home yet, he was the only person I had told about my dad coming home. I told him that he wasn't on the plane and that I had no idea where he was.

"I'm sure he's fine," he replied as we approached the ambulance, "I mean, he probably had to get a different flight or something and forgot to tell you, or too busy, he'll probably call you later."

"Probably," I mumbled. I really hoped that he was right, I doubted it though. I never told him about the strangers answering the phone.

Later on in the shift we stopped at a local café to get some lunch, everything had been relatively normal so far and work had distracted me from my anxious thoughts. I saw that the café had a small television in the corner, playing the news, I payed little attention to it though as I knew that Jeff would watch it later and spend the rest of the day complaining about it. It was a quiet lunch, until something on the news caught my eye. There had been an accident at an airport in Sierra Leone, it didn't say much, only that a couple of British men had been killed. What if my dad was one of them? What if he was dead? He couldn't be! They never said who they were but I was sure one of them was my dad.

"You alright Leah?"

"What's wrong?"

"Are you okay?"

My hands were shaking and I had no idea of what was going on around me. I leapt out of my seat and ran from the café. I heard people calling on me but I didn't stop, not until I had collapsed against a wall and burst into tears. The voices caught up with me, I think it was Jeff, Dixie and Jamie, but I didn't care, I was in too much of a state. I tried to calm down but I couldn't. I just kept repeating the words, "he's dead."

"Who's dead? What happened?" I heard Jamie ask. I never replied, I didn't want to worry them, but I had forgotten how to talk.

Jamie put his arm round my shoulder and tried to calm me down, while Jeff and Dixie stood there confused. We were like this for a good five minutes or so, until my initial distress had subsided into broken sobbing.

"My dad," was all I was able to choke out.

They all looked confused, "What about your dad sweetheart?" Dixie asked.

"British men, killed at airport, Sierra Leone" I managed to say.

"Look I'm sure it's nothing," Jeff interrupted, "why would he of been at the airport anyway? I'm sure he's fine."

That was when Jamie spoke, "He was meant to be coming home yesterday," he explained to Jeff and Dixie, "Leah went to pick him up at the airport, but he never arrived."

"Oh come here sweetie," Dixie pulled me into a hug, "Why didn't you tell us?" She asked stroking my hair.

"I know darlin', we would of understood, we would of helped you find out if anything had happened to him." Jeff said, "he might be okay though, he might not of even been involved. Have you tried phoning him?"

I then went on to explain the phone call and managed to stop crying, I was so scared, but I think I had used up all of the water in my eyes. Dixie then told me that I was to take the rest of the day off and that Jeff would go home with me.

Jeff and Jamie helped me walk back to the ambulance, as I was too unsteady to walk by myself. Dixie had to sort something out at the hospital before we went home, so we headed there first.


	4. Chapter 4

Once we arrived at the hospital Dixie asked us to wait outside for a couple of minutes while she sorted out whatever is that she had to do, Jamie went with her. Jeff and I stood outside the ambulance in silence, Jeff looked like he wanted to say something, but he obviously changed his mind about it.

We waited there for God knows how long. Everything was just a blur to me and I couldn't think straight, it took a while for me to realise that Dixie was back and was discussing something with Jeff.

"That's the new guy arrived," she told him, "he seems a bit odd to me."

"C'mon Dix, you can't seriously be calling someone odd, I mean, have you seen yourself? You're about as odd as it gets!"

"Shut it you cheeky sod," she laughed in response to Jeff's comment, "seriously though I told him that I'd take him round Holby so that he knows exactly where to go like I do with all newbies, but he told me he already knew Holby like the back of his hand, even though he just moved here," she then glanced at me, and thinking that I wasn't listening, she whispered, "He asked if I knew of anyone working here called Leah Warren, he seemed kind of shifty to me."

I snapped to attention, only a few people would ever ask around to try and find me, and if they seemed shifty, well, lets just say, that did not bode well at all.

"Shifty in what way?" Jeff asked, both of them were completely oblivious to the fact that I was even there any more.

"I can't put my finger on it," she replied, "he almost seemed too polite, too comfortable in a new place"

I felt way to worried to listen to them going on like this, I was far too impatient, I needed to know who it was.

"What's his name?" I interrupted, I could here the shaking in my voice but I didn't care, this was far more important than me feeling a bit silly.

They both turned around, it looked like I had startled them, then Dixie said "Erm, I think he said his name was Luke, I don't know his surname off hand," my eyes widened, "you okay pet?"

Had I heard her right? I can't of. It sounded like she said Luke. That would mean he was here. There was only one way to find out.

"Where is he?" I asked.

"At the reception, I think he..." I didn't stay to hear her finish.

I sprinted to the reception, I heard them behind me, but that didn't matter, all I could think was, "He's here!" but when I got to the entrance I stopped, what if it wasn't him? I could feel my heart thumping and I could here Jeff and Dixie behind me, but I knew that I wouldn't find out until I went inside. I took a deep breath and went inside.


	5. Chapter 5

There he was standing right there, where Dixie said he was. I could not believe my eyes, I was so sure that he was dead. I ran up and hugged him. I didn't care who saw. My dad was alive and that was all that mattered.

Once I had let go of him I noticed that people were looking at each other confused. They had no idea what was going on and must of thought that I had gone nuts as I tend to keep myself to myself so they have never seen me hug another person.

"Alright Leah? What's wrong, I thought you would be pleased to see me," he seemed quite concerned.

"I am pleased to see you, why would you think otherwise?"

"You're crying and I know that is something that you rarely do."

"I... What?..." Until this moment I hadn't realised that I was crying, "I'm just really pleased to see you I said... I thought you were dead dad," then I started sobbing.

He pulled me in for another hug, "Hey now, no need to get upset, why did you think I was dead? I'm really sorry, I tried to contact you but someone stole my phone and I didn't have your number or address, so I had no way of letting you know that I would be on a different flight."

I then explained to him about the phone call, the accident at the airport and how a couple of British men had been killed.

"I am so sorry about that, but it's okay now sweetheart."

I had completely forgotten about the fact that we were surrounded by people watching us, it seemed like dad had as well so we broke apart and looked around kind of awkwardly. Luckily for us an impatient visitor started having a go at Noel, so the silence was broken and things became less awkward.

I looked over at Jeff and Dixie and saw that they looked very uncomfortable so I decided that I would go over and introduce them to my dad, Dixie had already met him of course, but she didn't know who he was. Then things went back to normal.

"You feelin' better Leah? I mean if you're alright it would be a massive help if you could stay for the rest of your shift." Dixie asked.

"Of course, that's fine," I replied.

"So where you stayin' Luke?" Jeff had joined in the conversation, "Leah asked a while ago if you could stay with us and we would be happy to have you in our spare room if you want to."

"Cheers mate, that would be great, I'll bring my things round after the shift, if that's okay,"

"Of course that would be fine," Dixie interrupted, " Jamie wont be with us anymore as he has decided to stay at the ED for the rest of his shift, seeing as we now have an even number we can go out in two's again. Leah you're with me, Luke you're with Jeff."

Dad looked at me confused then a look of realisation appear on his face as he took in what I was wearing.

"I thought you were a nurse," he said, "you know how I feel about this," he sighed.

"I know, I'm sorry, could we please discuss this later?"

"Fine, meet me at the end of your shift and we can talk and we can sort out moving my things at the same time."

"Sure, that's fine," I replied.

Dixie then announced that we had a shout, so the conversation ended there, and we headed off to the ambulance.


	6. Chapter 6

The shift went by as normal, with no major accidents, just the usual things. This gave me a lot of time to think about how I would explain this to him but I had no idea what to say. When my shift ended I went to the reception as I knew that I would bump into him there.

"Hey Leah," I looked up to see Aoife smiling at me, "what you up to?" she asked. I loved talking to Aoife, she has such an amazing accent.

"Just waiting on my dad," I replied, "you?"

"Just finishing up now. Was that new paramedic your dad?"

"Yep."

"It seems that a lot of people have taken to him, just an hour ago I saw him flirting with a few of the nurses."

"I could really of gone without knowing that Aoife," I laughed, "please tell me you weren't one of them."

"No! No! Of course not, it was a few of the older ones, no offence but he's not really my type."

"I'm glad to hear it, so what is your type then?" I teased, she stopped laughing and became really awkward at this. She shrugged and told me that she had to finish off now and that she would see me later. I was worried, we usually teased each other all the time, I decided that I would speak to her tomorrow to see if she was okay.

I stood there for a while waiting when I saw Charlie.

"Hey Charlie!" I called and started walking over to him. "You haven't seen my dad have you?"

He looked at me with a confused expression on his face.

"I have no idea who your dad is," he replied.

"Sorry, I assumed that it would have gotten round, it's Luke the paramedic, he started here today," I explained.

"Oh, right," he replied, "he went on a shout a short while ago, we used to work together, I don't remember him mentioning a daughter."

"I know, things were... difficult, the only people to find out were Tess and Selena and they only found out because I was brought in." At that time things had been really tough for us so dad decided that it would be better off without people knowing as he didn't want people to ask questions. "Thanks Charlie," and he wandered off to get back to work.

A short while later he finally appeared and apologised for being late. We then got a bus to the hotel he was living at and started packing up until I broke the awkward silence.

"I'm sorry for not telling you, I was going to but you just assumed that was what I was doing so I didn't bother to correct you." He sat down and sighed.

"Come here Leah," he patted the space on the bed next to him. "I guess that I should of asked you instead of just assuming that you had gone into nursing like your mum. You are so like her so I just assumed that you would do the same. I know that you used to say you wanted to be a paramedic, but I thought that you had grown out of it. I guess that I just didn't like the thought of you working in a job that can be as dangerous as this. I love you Leah. I lost your mother and I just couldn't bear the thought that I might lose you as well."

This made me feel guilty, "you won't lose me, no matter what happens," I reassured me, "I thought that I had lost you, you know? You spent years doing this job and you're okay. Even so, I would always worry about you. What if something happened? I really admired you though and thought that it would be an amazing job to do... I really am sorry I never told you sooner."

"I know sweetheart," he pulled me into a hug and we just sat there, happy that we still had each other.

After a while we left the hotel and called a taxi to take us back to Jeff and Dixie's place, where we put his things into his room and then went down for tea.


End file.
